I don't know about where you live, but out here in Denver there's a boom in apartment and condo construction. It seems that a lot of so-called “55+ Active Living Communities” are being built. We took a tour of one with Lisa's older sister who is of an age (70) that she is starting to think about that kind of arrangement. We discovered that for a butt-load of money each month for rent ($3,500.00) and a $150,000.00 entry fee (I am not kidding) residents got a two-bedroom apartment, a dining room that only serves dinners a couple of evenings a week (and they have to be paid for out of pocket), and some of the typical elderly activity rooms, such as a card and jigsaw puzzle room.
That was it.
It was very nice, but there was no medical care or even access to doctors and nurses. There was no shuttle bus to the nearest Safeway store. There were no meals except for one or two special weekly meals. Mind-numbing Muzak played over the building's sound system at that perfect volume to not jostle anyone's being. In many ways, it was no different than living in any other apartment except for the hype and the big price tag. It was a lovely place to get old, at least for the generation prior to mine.
It did get me thinking that my generation is going to cause quite a kerfuffle when we retire. We're not going to be quiet and calm. We're not going to be sedated and wait for our great exit from this terrestrial realm. Nope, nope, nope, and nope. We second-wave baby boomers didn't listen to quiet and soothing music. We were raised on The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, and a million other really loud bands. And we ARE active. We never enjoyed just sitting around unless we were stoned out of our minds listening to Dark Side of the Moon or Wish You Were Here.
Active living to us is more than walking around the hallways of a retirement center. We're going to revive and relive our college dormitory, fraternity and sorority days. We're going to party like we always have. Instead of a pinochle room, we want foosball, pinball, poker, pool and a big screen TV with an endless supply of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. To make things even more fun, our generation is going to turn these retirement centers into no-tell-motels. (Strip Bingo, anyone?)
There will be banging on my apartment door. (Knock, knock, knock) “Mister Grob, this is Cheryl from the front desk again.”
I open the door. “Hi, Cheryl. What's up?”
“It's the music again.” Cheryl has made this speech before. “You have to watch it, Mr. Grob. Miss Jensen is complaining again.”
“Am I playing it too loud?” I ask.
“No, it's not that,” replied Cheryl, “but she'd really like it if you'd play something other than Little Feat or The Doobie Brothers for awhile. She likes it when you play AC/DC.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, “especially You Shook Me All Night Long.” I start laughing because according to common knowledge, Miss Jensen does, in fact, like to be shook all night long.”
Cheryl hears a woman's voice from inside my apartment. “Darrell, baby, come back to bed.”
I said, “Cheryl if there's nothing else, my wife is calling me. I'm … you know … busy.” And she left.
Yes, 55+ Active Living Centers are here and they're going to proliferate. But I don't think the developers of these pleasure palaces are going to know what's going to hit them when my generation starts populating them. We spell 'ACTIVE' like this: A C D C S E X. Oh, and pot is legal our here. That will add an interesting dynamic.
No comments:
Post a Comment